One big year.

Okay, I haven't actually written on this in a long time. So, here we go.

I had a great birthday this year, but at the same time there was a lot on my mind. Last year I celebrated my birthday in Iowa with my sister, our family and Drew who sweetly came to see me. Kelli had just been diagnosed with Cancer and at that point I had no idea how long I would be there with her and even if I did I would have never been able to anticipate the next 5 months. It had been a year and I realized over my birthday as I was sweetly celebrated by my husband and precious friends that I still had a lot to think about, "process" from this past year. Here's a quick rundown to catch you up...

Quit my job/Got new one

Went to Guatemala to meet my newest nephew, Jake

Got phone call that Kelli had cancer

Quit my new job

Spent the next 5.5 months in Iowa ( Jake came home !)

Treatments ended on Valentines Day

Flew to MD Anderson with Kel

Came home in April

Planned our wedding

Got married in June

When I got home there was so much to do with the wedding and I had done a bad job of talking with my friends about what my past 5.5 months was like that I just kind of jumped back into life where I left it. I never knew quite what to say when someone would ask about Kel, I had no idea how to explain what we had just been through.

So, now...almost a year from her first Chemo treatment, I sit and think on that time. Some days I still don't believe it happened. I remember good things though. I remember staying up late talking with my sister about our grandma, "Gowie", talking about faith, Jesus, being scared, believing and yes, death. I remember beautiful women coming over to sit on her living room floor and pray with her, more wonderful people bringing us food, treats, music, praying, loving and being with us. Sweet nurses sitting at the end of her hospital bed when she was scared and I didn't know what to say. I remember the mailbox full, ever day! So many cards, packages, comments on her blog...truly a people coming together in their love for my sister and faith in our God. Lots of nights sleeping on a crummy cot in her hospital room so she wasn't alone, I didn't mnd...there wasn't anywhere else I wanted to be. I remember our Dad and brothers surprising Kel with bald heads under their Santa hats and Drew coming to spend 10 whole days in Iowa to celebrate Christmas with us. I remember doing a silly impromptu interpretive dance with my sister in law on Christmas Eve just because it made Kel laugh :) I remember precious moments with my niece and nephews that I will forever cherish.

I remember one beautiful woman in particular who spent time, prayers and love on me that I don't know what I would have done with out. Jana's faith and friendship taught me, comforted me, challenged me and protected me. She told me I was silly to pray for something great and then expect the worst...she said The Bible said it was foolish to ask for something and not believe. She taught me how to stop expecting the worst and start believing God. A lesson that I need reminded of a lot these days. A lesson that I am so thankful that God used Kel's cancer and a sweet stranger turned friend to begin to teach me.

Well, this post was going to be about how insanely busy we are right now with, "The Holidays"... maybe tomorrow I will post about that. Today I am just thankful for the past year, all that it brought, the tears and the laughter and mostly I am thankful for a God who makes all things new and walks every step with us.

To be continued...